


A World Without Jung Yunho

by Crizz



Category: DBSK|Tohoshinki|TVXQ
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-06
Updated: 2013-07-06
Packaged: 2017-12-17 22:05:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/872461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crizz/pseuds/Crizz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Changmin wished for a world without Jung Yunho... And God said 'Yes'</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It is advisable to listen to 'A Person Like Tears' (Changmin's solo for Jeon Woo Chi OST) song while reading as that song is my inspiration for the fic. PLEASE read the A/N at the end.. There are some info/disclaimer/explanation in there.

 

 

 

Changmin lets his body fell backward on the couch and slide down to rest his aching head on the small brightly coloured cushion that someone (most likely one of the makeup girls) brought in sad attempt to put some cheer in the drabby changing room. Throwing an arm across his eyes, Changmin let out a heavy sigh.

 

He is.. to put  _very_ mildly: exhausted.

 

They just finished the last show of another tour in another God-knows which country (no seriously, he is just tired to care) and Changmin had sneaked away from the celebration into this small room to have a moment alone and to rest his eyes before been dragged back out there to play nice with everyone.

Not that he is stupid enough to think that his peace would last very long.

 

Case in point:

 

*Door creaked open and small sliver of light from the corridor fell across the couch*  
"Changmin-ah?"

 

The sweet voice grates on Changmin's ears and he determined not to react as he pretends not to hear his name. Maybe if he pretends hard enough, Yunho would get the hint and leave him alone.

 

Of course~ this is Jung Yunho we're talking about and if there's one person who is more stubborn than Changmin himself, it would most certainly be this hyung.  
True enough: Yunho somehow took his silence as invitation to get into the room and crouched beside the couch.

 

"Changmin~... Changmin-ah.. Are you sleeping?"  
* _Two pokes to Changmin's cheek_ *

 

"Go away, hyung."  
Changmin resisted the urge to shove Yunho away from him. He could feel the gentle heat of the other's breath near his face.

Sweet.  
Someone must've gave Yunho strawberries again.

Fucking ass-kissers.

 

"But Changmin-ah~ everybody else is outside having fun.. Why are you in here? I miss you.."

 

As nice as that sounds, it just managed to annoy Changmin even further.

He sat up quickly - causing Yunho to fell back on his butt on the floor with a startled yelp, and glares at the older man.

 

"Honestly hyung, can't you.. just for one  _fucking_ second not to be so clingy of me so much?! I'm tired. Okay. I know that it's a foreign concept for the Wonder Boy Jung Yunho but for us mere mortals, we're allowed to have our down days and not be picture fuckin' perfect all the damn time!"

 

He feels some kind of twisted pleasure at seeing the usually sunshine bright happy face flushed red like it'd been slapped. Those pretty cupid's bow lips - still glistening slightly with traces of pink glitters, opened and closed few times without any actual words came out.

 

"What? Cat your tongue finally, hyung? Just realized that maybe your presence aren't as delightful as you think it is?"

 

"You're tired and sleepy, so you're cranky, Min.. I'm not going to hold this against you.."  
Yunho said quietly - inhaling a shaky breath. Sometimes Changmin could get into one of his moods and all anyone could do is just to ride it out until the man is cheerful again,  
"I'll come and get you when they're ready to go back to the hotel, okay.."

He stood up to walk out of the room quickly but stopped near the door as the younger man can't resist one last jab.

 

"Have you ever thought that maybe I'm better off if we were to split up? I know I'll survive. But will  _you_?~ I wonder how my world without Jung Yunho in it will be~ No more nagging, no more clingy man-child that won't let me out of his sight for more than 5 minutes.. Hmm.. I wish such world exist. Must be a wonderful place to live in.."  
Changmin drawled lazily. He knows he is being deliberately mean and seeing how they both know each other the best, it's no surprise that he also knows the exact words to say to twists the knife deeper into Yunho's heart.

 

".... Just get some sleep, Min. I'll.. I'll wake you up later.."

 

Changmin scoffed,  
"Che.. Don't bother."

 

"... Alright."  
Yunho whispered before going out - closing the door gently behind him.

 

Lying back on the couch and closing his eyes, Changmin feels a twinge of guilt and regret at his rude words to Yunho.

It wasn't Yunho's fault that Changmin sometimes feels so exhausted by their hectic life that he just lost track of even which country they're at or which languages they're even supposed to greet the fans with.

He's blessed, he knows..

His life is the kind of life most could only dream about~.. And God knows he owes so much to Yunho who managed to keep him humble and rooted when he could so  _easily_ drift away with all the attention and adoration showered upon the maknae of the most successful K-group. Even during the split, Yunho tried to deflects all the public wrath away from Changmin and onto himself instead.

And now, Yunho dotes so much on him but the clinginess that comes with the adoration sometimes drive Changmin crazy.

Yes, he thinks Yunho is adorable in his return-to-clumsy-toddler self but at the same time, his inner mean streak gets annoyed by it and he'll purposely make things harder for his hyung with his temper and being an all around a jerk.. Just to show the world that yes, he's still the maknae. Not Yunho! And he's allowed to act up whenever he feels like it.

During those times, he pretends not to hear mumbling from others on how what he needs is a good shaking and perhaps some real tongue-lashing and how on earth could Yunho let his dongseang gets away being that rude to him?

 

Yunho though always just smile and shrugged and promise them that he'll talk to Changmin later.

Which he never does..

 

To be fair, it wasn't like Changmin behaves like a brat every single day.

And despite his occasional burst of temper, he really does love Yunho and often enough show his concern and caring side (albeit very discreetly) towards the older man.

 

It's just that once in a while.... He just can't help it.

He said once before that he's not a naturally nice person inside. People laughed and thinks that he's joking or just being humble.

He's not.

And it gets tiring to appear calm and play nice all the time.

 

Yunho understands though..

He always have.

 

' _I'll make it up to him later.._ '

Was Changmin's last thought as he drifted off to slumber land.

 

 

****************************************************************************************************************

 

 

" _And God said,_

_Let there be light: And there was light._

_And God saw the light that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness_ "

-  ** _Genesis 1:3 to 5_**

 

 

_Words_ are powerful.

So powerful that they create our reality.

We are creating and re-creating the world around us, shaping our present and future as we speak. 

 

In other words:

' _..... I wonder how my world without Jung Yunho in it will be~ No more nagging, no more clingy man-child that won't let me out of his sight for more than 5 minutes.. Hmm.. I wish such world exist. Must be a wonderful place to live in._ '

 

And Changmin-ah~

God just said ' _Yes_ '.

 

************************************************************************************************************

 

The sound of soft humming woke him up.

 

Stretching luxuriously, Changmin idly wonders when did he moved from the changing room yesterday to the hotel room? Was he that tired that he can't even remembers waking up and coming back here? And wow, he didn't remember any of the hotel they stayed before this ever have a bed this comfortable and soft..

 

"Changmin-ah~ you up?"

 

The strange, soft and more importantly  _female_ voice next to his ear woke him up faster than a bucket of cold water could and Changmin jumped up from the bed so fast that he nearly pulled a muscle.

There on the king size bed, a woman that Changmin could've swear that he never laid eyes on before - lounges casually on the pillow next to his.. and if the bare shoulders, hint of her breasts' gentle swell and one slim bare leg peeking  from underneath the thick coverlet offers any indication, she is naked...

 

...... as well as  **he**.

 

Changmin yelped and grabbed the corner of the sheet and pulls to cover his privates - without much success seeing how the girl is still lying on the bed and is now smirking at him.

 

"Aww~ why are you being so shy~?  Where did last night's wild kinky Changmin go, hmm?"  
She teased.

 

Changmin gaped at the stranger. He shook his head trying to make sense of it all.  
"Last ni.. What the... Who the  _fucking_ hell are you?!"

 

She pouted exaggeratingly,  
"That's cold. Even for you, the infamous great Shim Changmin~"

She then checked her nails and shrugged nonchalantly,  
"But hey~ I guess I should consider myself lucky. You  _did_ treat me especially well last night~ You really kept your promise. I was exhausted~ Am hoping for a repeat performance this morning.."

She looked at his odd grimace and laughed, getting out of the bed gracefully - ignoring the celebrity's strangling choked sound as she walked naked across the suite.  
"No? Ah well.. Maybe it's a good thing. I am due to meet my husband for lunch today. And~ if we go at it the way we did last night, I might not be able to let you of the bed at all."

 

Changmin could practically feels the blood drained from his face,  
"Husband? You're married?? And.. and we still..  _still_.."  
He gestured wildly towards the messy bed - unable to actually say it out loud.

 

The girl paused in buttoning up her shirt and raised her eyebrows at the man who looks like he might faint any second now,  
"Hey, you okay? It's not as if this is our first time~ Relax.. I told you my husband alright with it. As long as we both keep it discreet, we don't care who the other fuck."

 

"......."

 

After putting the final touch of pink gloss on her lips, she walked over to the speechless man and gave him an affectionate peck on the cheek,  
"Lets do this again sometime. You have my number~"

And with a cheery wave, she left - faint traces of her sweet scent (and no doubt, expensive) perfume trailing after her wake.

Changmin slumped back onto the bed with a groan.

' _Fuck, Yunho gonna kill me!_ '

 

He forced himself to get up and searched for his phone to call his hyung. Yunho might gets angry at him but Changmin knows he could always count on him to make everything better. Yunho knows what to do... Who they should bribe to keep this under wrap.

 

Changmin pressed the speed dial button - expecting Yunho's number to popped up but instead an unknown name appeared.

 

"Yeobseyo.. Changmin-sshi? Is everything okay? Is there anything I could get you?"

 

Changmin frowned at the unfamiliar voice,  
"Who's this?"

 

"Um.. it's me, Chul Moo.. your manager?"  
Came the timid, hesitant answer.

 

"What? Did Jin-hyung quit? I just saw him yesterday!"

 

"... I'm sorry? I don't know who that is..?"

 

"Jin-hyung.. Kim Jin Sung.. our manager.. You know, the one that you apparently replaced~!"  
Changmin said impatiently.

 

"But Changmin-shhi, it's always been me as your manager for the past 5 years? Um.. the manager before was Im Hyun Shik-sshi.. and after the accident, you asked the company to fire him?I'm sorry but I never heard of Kim Jin Sung before.."

 

"What the hell are you talking about? Do you really think that I didn't know my own manager's name?! Is this a prank? Did Yunho-hyung put you up to this?"  
Changmin asked heatedly.

 

"..Who?"

 

"Ah! I've had enough~!"  
Changmin hung up crossly.

 

Stupid Yunho.  
Putting some weird stranger's number on Changmin's phone..

Just you wait.

 

Changmin thumbed across the long list of his contact numbers (hmm.. who the heck are these names??) but can't find the one number that he is looking for.

Never mind, it wasn't as if he didn't memorize the number of one person closest to his heart (though he would rather be flay alive than to admit that)

 

' _The number that you have dialed is not in service_ '

 

What?

 

Ignoring the sudden panic  _thump_ in his chest, Changmin decided to calm down and talk to his best friend before planning out revenge on Yunho.

 

Again, neither Kyunhyun nor Minho's numbers are in his phone.  
Yunho must have deleted them too..

 

' _Argh Yunho-hyung~! You are lucky that I have good memories!_ '  
Changmin fumes silently as he dials Kyu's number.

 

There must be something wrong with Minho's number as it keeps directing Changmin to some old lady that lives in Busan.

 

"Yeobseyo?"

 

The familiar deep voice of one of his best friends cheers Changmin up.

"Oi Kyu! What's up? You never would have believe the morning I'm having today~ It's insane, man.. By the way,what happened to Minho's number? Did he change it? Some fans managed to hacked it again?"

 

"...... Sorry, who is this again?"

 

Changmin huffed in annoyance - Did Yunho gets to Kyuhyun too?

"This is Changmin! Shim Changmin. Did Yunho puts you up to this? I can't believe you gonna betray me like this~ What happened to 'Maknae against Hyungs' thing we got going on, huh?"

 

Another pregnant pause,  
"Shim Changmin-sshi?"

 

"That's my name, don't wear it out~ What's with the -sshi?"

 

"..... I'm.. um.. Sorry, this is Shim Changmin from SME, right?"

 

"Uh~ d'uh! Who else? Yah, Kyu~ What's up with you? Stop being weird!"

 

"Changmin-sshi, I wasn't trying to be weird. Considering I never received a call from you before and I don't even know you have my number, I think it's normal for me to be surprise by this."

 

Changmin frowns, Kyuhyun has his ' _I'm fuckin' serious, you ass_ ' tone on.

"Kyu, I don't know why you're going along with Yunho-hyun..."

 

"Who?"

 

Changmin snapped,  
"Jung Yunho! The leader of TVXQ.  _Don't_ tell me you haven't heard of him either.."

 

"I've heard of TVXQ... I know you were once in the group. But~ TVXQ disbanded like 10 years ago, shortly after their debut..  and wasn't the leader then was Kim Jaejoong? I... never heard of this Jung Yunho before.,"  
Came the hesitant reply.

 

He could literally feels his blood turned ice cold at Kyuhyun's words,  
"...Kyu.. This.. this is a joke, right? It's not funny so just.. just cut it out okay.. You're freakin' me out here and.. and it's been a weird morning already for me.."  
He stammered.

 

"I'm sorry Changmin-sshi, what do you want me to say here?... I don't even know  _what_ to help you with. We've never spoken before this.. And.. I'm sorry.."

 

No, no.. this polite tone, this.. this  _formality_.. this is not Kyuhyun. This is not  _his_ Kyuhyun.. his best friend that he spends his time with making fun and planning pranks on their team members..  
Who  _is_ this?

"I.. I think I better go.. Sorry to bother you.."

 

Not waiting to hear the other's reply, Changmin abruptly ends the call.

 

 

************************

 

 

Finally Changmin figured that before he could properly freaks out, the best person to explained what the hell is going on here would be their new manager (since Yunho is just simple unreachable and all his closest friends either changed their numbers simultaneously and forgot to inform him or when some did pick up, they sound just like Kyuhyun was: surprised that Shim Changmin actually know their number). He remembers that the man sounds quite respectful (read: scared) towards him in their earlier conversation so it's highly likely he would answer Changmin's question (read: break under duress) rather than keeping up with this cruel prank.

 

So he redial the man's number (ah~ gotta remember to quickly change the speed dial back to Yunho's number later) and asked (read:  _demand_ ) him to please come over quickly.

While waiting, he explored the room and found out what he previously thought a hotel suite is actually part of a huge luxurious penthouse. And no, he doesn't want to know whose house this is.. and yes, he's just going to ignore all the picture frames scattering around the house and on the walls that clearly shows  _he_ lives there.. He knows for fact that he never been this extravagant in his spending, neither him nor Yunho are. Even though they could afford it (and well deserved too!), Yunho always been thrifty and as an impressionable youngest member, Changmin had more or less adopted his leader's habit of being careful with his money.

 

He knows that he could just easily checks the internet for any information - but something stopped him... Maybe he's actually scared of what else could go wrong in this insane day (and he hasn't even stepped out the door yet~!).

 

Sighing, Changmin decided to take a shower and make himself presentable before his (so-called) manager arrives.

 

**************************

 

"No. What you're saying is impossible!"

 

Chul Moo gulped and look up in trepidation as his ward pacing around the huge living room.

5 years he's been the manager to the young singer and while he prides himself in being the one who understands the temperamental man the best, even he has to tread carefully around him.

 

Shim Changmin.

Golden child of SME.

 

Initially being put as the maknae in a group of four, TVXQ. The group has potential to be successful but unfortunately due to some disagreement and dispute between the members and the management (and even among themselves), the group was disbanded shortly after their debut.

Chul Moo has no idea what happened to the other three, but Lee Soo Man himself takes an interest in young Shim Changmin and personally oversee his training and groomed him until he becomes one of Asia's most popular artist with fans ranging from east to west. Ever since his second debut, this time as a solo artist, every single concert - in AND out of Korea, would be an almost instant sold out.

He's known as Asia's rising God in the west while Japan is all ready to adopt him as their own.

Everywhere he goes, people will be falling all over their feet to accommodate and see to his comfort.

 

What Shim Changmin wants,  
Shim Changmin will definitely gets.

That was how Lee Soo Man taught him.

 

The blatant favouritism their company's president has for the young singer obviously had some tongues wagging but~ considering Changmin is talented and has no need of any favour done unto him once he debuted, other artists start to respect the young man and acknowledge that  there  _is_ something special about Shim Changmin that is inexplicable.

 

Of course, respecting someone is  _different_ from liking them.

 

Sometimes Chul Moo feels sorry for his ward.

For all his wealth and fame and devilish good look, Shim Changmin got to be one of the coldest and loneliest person Chul Moo ever met. In all his 5 years at the young man's beck and call, Chul Moo can't remember anyone that is close enough to the younger man to be called friend.

Oh sure, there are plenty of other celebrities that claims they are close to the elusive singer and whenever they are at a function, people would flocked to him and try their best to impress him.

But.. that';s just it. These people are just being nice because he's famous and rich.. and not because they genuinely like or even know him..

 

Not that it's their fault.

Shim Changmin keeps others at arm's length.

He used and discards others as easily as changing clothes.

He's not a bad person, just he doesn't really give a shit about anyone else but his immediate family members (and he doesn't hide the fact that he despised most people too~) - and even they hardly ever see him, workaholic that he is.

 

And now,  
After calling and demanded that Chul Moo to come right away, Changmin first tried to cajoled the manager to give up on the joke and stop playing around. When Chul Moo showed his confusion, the young man lost his patience and flat out snapped that he knows Yunho created the whole thing to freak Changmin out and demanded that Chul Moo to call Yunho now and let Changmin talks to him as apparently Yunho doesn't want Changmin to call him since he deactivated his number that Changmin already memorized.

 

He watched Changmin pacing around ranting and muttering about ' _how this is a cruel joke_ ' and ' _when he see Yunho (who the heck is that??) later, he would kick his ass_ ' Chul Moo wonders if all the work stress had finally caught up to young singer.

 

"Changmin-sshi... Um.."  
Chul Moo began hesitantly,  
"I'm sorry.. but I really never heard of this Yunho person.. Is he someone that you know very well?"

Because by now, Chul Moo is all ready to join those who thinks that maybe Shim Changmin is an android built by Lee Soo Man as the only times one could see life and passion in him is when he is on stage and interacting with fans.  
Off-stage, he might as well be sculpted from ice for all the attention he gives to others.

So to know there is a person that Changmin considers close enough to think that he will play a prank of him, well... it's surprising (and weird~).

 

 

Changmin stopped pacing and stares down at him,  
"For real? Jung Yunho.. You don't know him? You expect me to believe that?"

At Chul Moo helpless shrugs, Changmi  exploded  
"He's the other half of TVXQ~! The freakin' leader!!"

 

"There is no TVXQ anymore.. and.. and Kim Jaejoong-sshi was the leader.. and.. there is no one by the name Jung Yunho that I know of in the company.."

 

"Would you just stop.. Just. Stop! Ok.. Fine, you know what, I'll show you."  
Changmin stalked to the laptop on the dining table and switched it on - and he doesn't think how the heck he automatically knows the password.  
"I'll show you.. You can't possibly change every single site out there just for stupid prank.."

 

Half an hour later found Changmin staring in disbelief at his computer screen with Chul Moo standing awkwardly behind him.

There on the screen, is the official profile page of one Shim Changmin (and the 30th site they went to) and just as Chul Moo had told him: There is no one by the name of Jung Yunho has even been connected with the young singer.. Infact, according to the site: going solo after the group's break up (shortly after debut??!! What the hell??!!) is the best decision Changmin SAID he ever made.

Other sites offer extra information such as how Changmin is known as 'The Korea Ice Prince', how he's a loner for most part but could be found in the company of different women (sometimes boys) some nights - all beautiful. There are pictures of him accepting various top awards with the his trademark arrogant smirks, there are also pictures of him stumbling - pissed drunk, out of some exclusive clubs with a girl on each arm...  And there are at least three articles on him being arrested few times for DUI and is this actually a cry ' _for help_ ' as the pressure of becoming so famous and so successful at such an early age got to him.

 

There some 1000s more information - some official, some ' _stalker_ 'ish, some full-out been made up.

From his estimated net worth (800 million, bitch~!) to his favourite spa place. From the number of moles he has to how he is a closeted exhibitionist (as proven by numerous blurry stalkers' pictures of him skinny dipping in his own  **PRIVATE** pool). From cheesecake is his weakness (true) to how he would only drinks from chalice made of pure gold and bathe in full fat milk every night to keep his skin silky smooth (false!). From the insane number of his luxury cars (damn, he bought two Porsche, two Audi and THREE Maserati?! Doesn't he understand the concept of ' _money_ - _saving_ '??) to all of his holiday homes (seriously, does he even have the time to be away from work?).

 

But no matter how much he digs, no matter which sites he browsed.. Not a single Jung Yunho could be found (well, there are a couple but when he (eagerly) clicked on those links, one is a weird obituary for beloved pet cat while the other link led him to an article of some 100 something years old man and the secret to his long life).

 

"No.. No.. this can't be happening.."

Changmin didn't realized he is muttering the denial again and again as he keep on browsing the net - site after site after site..

 

"Changmin-sshi.."

Nothing.

So Chul Moo tries again, placing his hand gently on his ward's shoulder,

"Changmin-ah, listen..I.. I don't quite understand what's going on here but I can see that it affected you greatly. Why don't you take few days off, huh? I'll cancel all of your appointments and.. since we just finish your Japan tour, the company won't be expecting you back in the studio for at least few weeks.. Take a vacation, God knows you deserve it.. Visit your family.. or..or friends.. or just go on holiday alone.. It'll do wonder to clear your tired mind.."

 

Still staring blankly at the screen in front of him, Changmin barely registered the almost-cautious pat on his back and few seconds later he felt, more than heard, a heavy sigh coming from behind him and with one final pat, the older man left - closing the door softly behind him.

 

Heart pounding, loud ringing in his ears - it feels like all the air in the room been sucked out, leaving him choking and shaking.

 

' _What the hell's going on?.._ '

 

*********************************************************************************************************************

 

"Ye~.. Kamsahamnida.. Please come again.."

 

He's been standing outside the mini mart for half an hour already, watching people coming out and going in the small store - contemplating whether to go in or not.

Part of him wants to get it done and over with while another part of him is scared that the truth might just break him.

 

"You know if you're going for the whole ' _I'm just another normal guy so ignore me please_ ' disguise, I think I have to tell you that you failed miserably. Not many Maserati could be found around here, you see.."

 

Changmin is proud of himself for not jumping in surprise at the sound of amused voice right behind him.  
He turned to see the man he once called brother..

 

"Jaejoong-hyung.."  
Changmin took in the older man's appearance.

 

He looks... different.

The Jaejoong that Changmin knows would never let those bruised bags under his eyes to look so prominent in public. And he won't be out and about with his hair looking like it hadn't been dyed or even been to a good salon in few months and certainly not in those cheap clothes. And what's with those dark complexion? Jaejoong wouldn't be caught dead without a layer or ten of strongest sunscreen slathered all over his skin.

This Jaejoong looks like he had been through few hardship in life and just couldn't be bothered to hide it.

 

But despite it all..

The twinkle in those large gentle eyes are familiar and he doesn't even realised how much he missed the other man and Changmin found himself choking up and stumbling forward and just grabbed Jaejoong into his arms.

In this crazy world that he suddenly woke up in, Jaejoong would help him.. Because no matter what, Jaejoong is his pseudo-umma and despite their volatile relationship, Jaejoong always know how to make things better before everything went to hell.

 

Blinking in surprise and wondering what's going on, Jaejoong awkwardly patted the his ex-group member on the back to calm (??) him down.

"Um.. Changmin? Maybe we should go inside to talk? Uh.. Okay nothing to see here people~ Just my friend feeling a bit sick.. and..uh.. whoever you think he is, he's not.. So, run along now~"  
He waved away at the gawking crowd around them.

 

Hushed whispers of ' _Is that Shim Changmin_ ' from all the ahjummas and giggling schoolgirls and God knows how many has their phones out to take pictures and texting their friends ' _Get here to the Kim's Mart quick! Changmin is here!!!!_ ' convinced Jaejoong to hurry and go inside his store (admittedly a difficult task with a 6 ft something koala clinging to him =.=;;).

Ushering the remaining few regular customers to leave with a charming apologetic smile and promises that he will open the  store extra early and closes it extra late tomorrow, he shut the door firmly behind them and put up the ' _Close_ ' sign before any of the schoolgirls (that has triple in numbers in the last 5 minutes) could barge in.

 

"And here I thought it'll be just another quiet boring day.."  
He muttered underneath his breath.

Taking a deep breath, he turned to see the man he haven't seen (pushing aside the fact that Changmin's face practically plastered everywhere from all the ads and dramas and music videos and God knows what else..) for the past 9 years plus or so is standing near the cash register and looking around in curiousity - as if he never been inside a mini mart before (not such a far-fetched idea now that Jaejoong think about it, considering famous celebrity like Changmin must have people lining up to do his groceries for him).

 

Jaejoong felt a pang of regret hit him for a second.

TVXQ had  _so_ much potential..

Even though they only performed few times before disbanded, Jaejoong could feel in his heart the pure magic they created together.

Saying that, there was also a feeling that something  _missing_ from their little quartet.

They had everything: From the one with the most powerful vocal to the one who was an amazing dancer (his generous behind is...  _most_ mesmerizing to watch) and Jaejoong's own looks those days was the talk of the town too, if he may say so himself~

 

  
But still... there's a hole.. a feeling of emptiness..  _incomplete_..

They lack the balm that could soothe the path between the fiery leader (himself) and the sassy maknae (Changmin). And as for the more timid and gentler two other members? Their voices got lost..  _forgotten_ somewhere in between numerous shouting match of the leader and the maknae. They were too young, too idealistic.. too much of a dreamer.

And Jaejoong... it wasn't in his nature to lead.

  
Too used to be spoiled and adored by his family and to understand the delicacy in compromising..  _communicating_ with the management and the demanding public from this new group.

  
Changmin with his constant criticism didn't help either.

Finally, the pressure got to them and what once dreams became nightmares and one day, he just walked away.

  
His final words with the maknae were filled with bitterness and  resentment.

In other words, Shim Changmin is the  _last_ person he expects to hug him in the middle of the street like some scene in soap opera.

"So~.. not that I'm not thrilled getting the famous Shim Changmin in my humble store - any publicity is good and all that~.. But, what the hell are you doing here?"

  
And if the look of uncertainty on his former over-confident maknae doesn't really gives Jaejoong the satisfaction as he thought it would, well~ that's only for him to know.

"Umm.. I was in the neighbourhood?"

Changmin smiled sheepishly.

Jaejoong rolled his eyes and walked past the younger man to the back of the store, he didn't wait to see if Changmin follows him or not.

  
He did.

"Yeah,see  I would believe that except for one tiny little fact: This is Chungcheongnam and you Seoul city boy, are a  _long_ way from home. So why don't you cut the crap and tell me the real reason we were re-enacting the romantic scene of practically every Korean drama out there just now, huh."

"I.. Hyung.. I need help.."

 

**********************

 

Jaejoong blinked at the man before him.

  
Once the infuriating and proud maknae looks so dejected and depressed that despite himself, Jaejoong feels a twinge (just a  _twinge_ , mind you!) of sympathy for the younger man.

Saying that, he gotta admit that Changmin's might be right: he  _DOES_ needs help..

"Ok, so let me get this straight: You're saying that... you woke up this morning and found out you're not from this world? What, like you're an  _alien_ or something?"

At Changmin's glare, Jaejoong shrugged

"Hey, I'm just trying to understand here. You're the one who is in the wrong universe here, buddy~. Why did you come to me anyway and  _how_ did you find me? We were never close.. Heck, you and I were probably half the reason the group disbanded."

 

Changmin looked down at the mug of cold coffee in his hand and mumbled,  
"I found you through the net. You still have fans, hyung.. And.. in my..real world, we were close..  _All_ of us."

He looked up,  
"Sure, you and I.. well, there's a  _reason_ why we were known as SoulFighter. But.. You were there for me and even in our worse fight, Yunho.."

Here, Changmin stopped and took a deep shaky breath,  
"..Yunho always there to smooth everything out.."  
He whispered.

 

Jaejoong frowned,  
"Sorry, you know  _who_?"

 

"Yunho. Jung Yunho.. TVXQ leader. I can't find him anywhere in the net and.. and everyone that I talked to today just seems to forgot about him. And nobody knows what I'm talking about and I just want this to stop already and I can't.. I just  _can't_.. And I just.. I just need to see if he's alright.."

 

"Okay..Okay.."  
Jaejoong grabbed both of Changmin's hands and held them tightly in his to calm the agitated man down.

He stares at him for a while before sighing and asks Changmin in the gentlest voice he could possibly musters in this bizarre situation,  
"Listen Min.. I'm not a celebrity anymore so I may be the  _last_ person who would understand what you're going through here.. But... Do you think that perhaps the stress is getting to you.. maybe just a  _little_ bit?"

 

Changmin snatched his hands away from Jaejoong's hold with a glare,  
"I'm not crazy, hyung! Okay."

 

"I'm not saying that you are. I'm saying maybe.. just  _maybe_ you need to.. I dunno, take some time off from work for a while. I mean, you're making up a person that nobod.."

 

"I'm not making him up! He's real! Yunho is  **real**! I know him for the past 15 years of my life! Heck, he was  _your_ best friend once!"

 

"Then how come I never heard of his name before today?"

 

At Jaejoong's quiet question, Changmin deflated - all fights gone from him. Rubbing his face tiredly, he sighed  
"I don't know, hyung.. I.. Everything..  _everyone_ that I know.. All changed when I woke up this morning and I.."

He looked away and shook his head before turning back to Jaejoong,  
"I thought it was a prank at first  _then_ I thought it was a nightmare but nothing I did can wake me up... The whole's world gone crazy.. And I don't know what to do.. All I know is that this is not my home, hyung... Not without Yunho.."

 

"You  **love** him..."  
It wasn't a question.

 

Changmin didn't reply to that but the lost look on his face breaks Jaejoong's heart. He may not understand what's going on but he knows that the younger man in front of him is hurting.

"You know, lets say what you say is real.. I'm not saying that it is.. I'm just saying **IF**. Then maybe your Yunho is somewhere out there as well.. Maybe here, he never becomes an artist at all and that's why you can't find him.. Maybe  _he's_  waiting for you to come and get him.."

 

Realisation dawned on Changmin - Bright grin transforming his face back to the innocent cute 16 years old boy Jaejoong remembers meeting all those years ago,  
"Maybe he's in Gwangju.. that's where he came from, you know.. Oh my God, why didn't I think of it before? Thank you so much, hyung! You're a  _genius_!!"

 

Surprised at the second hug he received from Changmin that day, Jaejoong can't help but laughs and hugs the other back just as tightly.. Real or not, this Changmin certainly is different from the Changmin that he knows before.. and all in the good way too..

 

Changmin let go and beamed at Jaejoong,  
"I know it's the right thing to come to you, hyung.. Thank you."

 

He could feel his face reddened - damn the boy for being extremely good-looking~ that face ought to be  _illegal_! Jung Yunho (whoever he is) is a lucky man indeed,  
"Ah.. it's nothing. No matter what, you're still my maknae.. Do you want to stay the night? My house is actually just above the store.. It's small and obviously not a place that you're used too. I mean, only if you want to of course~.. I just thought it'll be nice to catch up on stuff..."

What the  _fuck_? Why the hell is he being all schoolgirl-like?

 

"Hyung, chill.. I would love to stay for the night.. I miss you, you know.. Even back in my world, I've always miss you.."

 

Jaejoong stare at Changmin's soft smile and understand why his maknae is so famous. Aside from his voice, that gorgeous face and body could easily launch a thousand ships..

And Jaejoong just asked him to stay the night.. =.=;;

 

"God help me.."  
He muttered underneath his breath.

 

"Hmm? Did you say something, hyung?"  
Changmin asked.

 

"Huh? No. no.. Just.. just talking to myself. Um Changmin, how do you feel about wearing a face mask to sleep? Or maybe a burlap sack that preferably covers you from head to toe?? I bet it'll be comfy~"

 

**************************************************************************************************************

 

He took several deep breath - trying to find the courage to actually lifts up his hand and knock on the worn out door.

 

At first he thought he might have the wrong house but after asking a nearby neighbour, it was confirmed that the small rundown house belongs to Jung family.

For all the address is the same as Changmin remembers, the house certainly is different. While he knows Mr and Mrs Jung didn't let Yunho to spend so much on them, he also knows that their life style became more towards upper middle-class family as Yunho insisted to take care of JiHye's education and all of their bills and expenses so Mr Jung's salary would just go towards his and Mrs Jung savings and leisure spending.

However, judging from the condition of the house in front of him now.. That might not be the same case here in this wretched world.

 

Changmin swears to himself that it doesn't matter if Yunho recognizes him or not, he WILL drag Yunho back to Seoul with him. He knows for fact Yunho is talented and it doesn't matter what kind of living he has over here, Changmin would personally makes sure TVXQ's name soar high just like it is supposed to be.

Plus, he might be thrown into a strange world for some God knows reason.. But as long as Yunho there besides him, he knows everything would be okay.

 

With that thought planted in mind, he knocked firmly on the door and stepped back to wait.

He could hear light footsteps coming closer from the other side and the sound of lock unlatched before the door swings (creakily) open.

 

"Ne.. Who is.."

 

The girl who opened the door is as familiar to Changmin as his own sisters.. Aside from the fact that the one who is standing slack-jawed in front of him is thinner than he remembers, there's no doubt in Changmin's mind that this is..

"Ji Hye?"

She makes a squeaking squealing sound and Changmin smiles.

 

"Ji Hye-ah~ who is it?"

 

The door opened wider to a middle-aged woman (' _Yunho's mom_ ' Changmin's mind supplied helpfully) coming up from behind Ji Hye. Although deep lines on her face showed the kind of weariness that only life could offer, the light in her eyes are lively and strangely still innocent with hope that things will turn for the better if she's patient enough.

Her eyes that reminds Changmin so much of her son..

 

"Yes, young man? Can we help you?"  
She asked politely with a hint of steely warning underneath though for the life of him, he didn't understand why.

 

"I..uh.."  
Seriously, where on earth could he even start?

 

"Omo Umma.. This is Shim Changmin.. You know, the famous singer.. Don't be rude!"  
Ji Hye tugged at her mother's arm - trying to whisper quietly (though Changmin could hear every word)

 

"Tch, don't be silly child.. Why would a celebrity come to our house? I told you not to be so obsessed with whatever nonsense kpop or whatever-pop. Go back inside and study!"

 

Face flushed, Ji Hye retorted back,  
"Umma likes his songs too, right? Whenever his songs came on radio, you will turn the volume up. Aish jinjja~!"

 

Changmin was just about to interrupt them saying that he IS that Changmin and can he please see Yunho now please when he was suddenly was pushed aside rudely by two men.

 

"Oi Ajumma! We're here to collect your debt. Until when you want to extend, huh? Do you think our boss is interested in charity?!"  
The shorter one of the two leaned forward to blow a ring of cigarette smoke at both mother and daughter. While the bigger and taller (and uglier) man stands behind him like a bodyguard.

 

Mrs Jung sneered at him,  
"I already paid what I owed him. Your greedy boss wants more? It's not my problem."

 

"Paid? Ahjumma~ I told you that my boss is a businessman.. NOT a social worker.. You agreed to pay back your debt at 70% interest and now you're going back on your word? That's bad, Ahjumma.. really unwise.. But we're nice people.. We understand in these tough times, you need more time to save your money~ if you could at all.."

A pause and a leering grin at Ji Hye (and Changmin has a bad feeling in his stomach).

"Tell you what, since we're that generous and compassionate, why don't you let your daughter come and work with us. I promise we'll treat her good~ Infact, consider your debt gone and clear. How 'bout it, huh? Sweet Ji Hye, would you help your mother here?"

 

A snarl,  
"Over my dead body, Jun Pyo"

 

"As you wish, Old lady~ Sangmin."

 

 

Before the up-til-then quiet bigger man could grab Ji Hye, Changmin stepped forward and pushed both guys back.

"Don't you dare get your hands on her. How much do they owe you? I'll pay for it."

 

Jun Pyo stepped forward and looked at Changmin up and down, sneering  
"So you want to be a hero, boy? They owe us 850,000₩. You have that kind of money on you, boy?! I won't accept anything les.."

 

Changmin threw a wad of money from his wallet at Jun Pyo's chest.  
"There. More than what was owed. Leave now before I called the police."

 

The two men stare at Changmin for few moments - probably wondering who is this insane guy who carries around wads of cash like it's nothing.

Jun Pyo shook his head and picked up the money. He smirks at Mrs Jung,  
"Well.. well.. Looks like today is your lucky day, Mrs Jung. Next time please think really carefully before you decided to skip on your debt. Come Sangmin. Lets blow this joint."

 

Watching carefully until the last of the two men backs disappeared behind a corner, Changmin turned back to Mrs Jung and Ji Hye..... only to get slapped so hard that his head snapped to the side.

 

"Umma! What do you think you're doing?!"  
Ji Hye shrieked - quickly coming over to Changmin's side  
"Changmin-sshi, let me see that.. Oh God, your lips are bleeding.. Umma, you went too far! After Changmin-sshi helped us too.."

 

Holding his throbbing cheek, Changmin blinked in confusion at the fuming old lady in front of him.

"I.. Wha.."

 

"Who do you think you are to just came here and barged in our business like that?! Now you are only making it worse! Those guys would just keep on coming and asking for more money if we just give in! Next time when they come, what then?!"

 

Changmin looked down i contrite,  
"I.. I'm sorry.. I was just trying to help.. I didn't think.."

 

"That's right. You didn't. All you rich people know to do is just throw your money around and expect everything becomes peachy keen! What do you know of hard honest work?"

 

"Umma, that's enough!"  
Ji Hye snapped at her mother.

Miraculously Mrs Jung did shut up and with another look of disgust at Changmin, she turned and hobbled back inside the house.

"Please forgive her, Changmin-sshi.. Since Appa died, it's been quite... trying for us. Umma learnt not to trust people after we've been betrayed by my uncle. But believe me that we are both very grateful for your help today.. They have been bothering us for quite a while now even after we paid the debt already.. They keep raising the interest.. I don't know why God sent you to us today but really, thank you. Now please come inside so we could some ice on that cheek before it starts bruising.."

 

Changmin frowned,  
"No, no, I'm okay.. But does Yunho knows about these guys? I can't imagine him being okay at being harassed by those scumbags."

 

Ji Hye cocked her head in confusion,  
"Yunho?"

 

Changmin could feel his heartbeat falters,  
"Yes.. Jung Yunho.. You  **DO** have a big brother right?"

 

"Well.. yes. But.."

 

Feeling happy at the confirmation, Changmin grabbed both of Ji Hye's hands - oblivious to the small gasp and light blush adorning the girl's cheeks,  
"Please, do you know where he is? Can I see him? I need to see him.."

 

"I.. But..."

 

"I know.. this may sounds crazy. He might never mentioned my name even.. But I know him.. Please, I'm begging you.."

 

"No, it's not that.. It's just.."

 

" _Please_ Ji Hye.."

 

Hearing the desperation in the other's voice, Ji Hye's face softened and she squeezed Changmin's hands slightly,  
"Okay. I.. I'll take you to him.."

 

****************

 

' _Held for a moment_  
 _Loved for a lifetime._  
 _Sleep well our little angel.._

_Jung Yunho  
February 6, 1986 - February 6, 1986_ '

 

All strength left his body and Changmin sank to his knees in front of the small headstone. He could barely registers Ji Hye's soft voice behind him with the blood roaring in his ears as he took in the inscriptions on the headstone.

 

"They said he was stillborn.. But Appa was the one that delivered him and he swore that the baby opened his little eyes and gave him a tiny smile before he stopped breathing. I don't think either of my parents ever recovered fully from losing him.. Even after they had me.."

Ji Hye placed a small hand on Changmin's bowed shoulders.

"Changmin-sshi, I don't understand what's going on. But... if you're asking for Jung Yunho, my brother.. Then.. this is the only thing I could do. I'm sorry..."

 

He reached out a shaky hand - the rough surface of the stone told him that this is real.. not some nightmare induced by too long hours of practice or a night of alcohol indulgence.

 

_'Changmin-ah~ do you know how much hyung loves you?' *bright grin*_

' _Changmin-ah~ you look so cool in your new show.. Changmin-hwaiting!_ '

' _Changmin-ah~ one day... lets go for a holiday together, okay?_ '

' _Ssh.. Changminnie.. s'okay~ You'll be fine... It's just a fever. Hyung will stay with you all night, okay? Just sleep.. Don't worry about anything.._ '

' _Changmin-ah~.._ '

' _Changmin-ah~.._ '

' _Changmi.._.'

 

He didn't even realised he was shaking and hyperventilating - each laboured breath came in faster and shallower than before. From a distance he could hear Ji Hye asking if he's okay and if he needs a doctor.

Shaking the other's hand from his shoulder, Changmin stood up - ignoring small hands steadying him as he stumbled a bit on the uneven ground.

"I.. I need to get back.."  
He mumbled.

 

"Are you sure you could drive in your condition, Changmin-sshi? You.. you don't look so good.. Maybe you should stay.."  
Wringing her hands worriedly, Ji Hye tries to reasoned with the singer.

 

"It's... it's okay.. I..."  
He looks at Ji Hye and the absolute broken look in his eyes caused the girl to take a step back in shock,  
"I'm sorry Ji Hye... It's my fault.."  
He whispered.

 

"What..?"

But Changmin already turned and walked down the hill quickly - leaving her confused and wondering what does he means by that..

 

**************************************************************************************************************

 

It wasn't the soft knocking... nor the loud thunders or even the lightnings flashed across the inky sky outside that woke Jaejoong up in the middle of the night.

 

It was just a feeling.

A sudden overwhelming shadow of such sadness permeating his dream that woke him up with a start.

 

Without even stopping to think what he was doing, he got off the bed went to his front hall.

 

A tall figure met his eyes when he opened the door - head bowed, soaked to the bone.

 

When the man raised his head to look at him, Jaejoong swallowed heavily.

 

Those are the eyes of someone who just lost any hope in life.

A dead man's eyes.

 

"Hyung.."

 

The blank hollow voice like a stab to Jaejoong's heart.

"Oh sweetheart, come here.."

Jaejoong drew the younger man into his arms - ignoring the fact that his pajamas is becoming wet from Changmin's soaking clothes.  
He hugged the taller man tighter.

"It'll be okay.. Ssh.. ssh.. it'll be okay, Changmin-ah.."

 

And if there was warm wetness at Jajeoong's neck that has nothing to do with the chillness of cold night air and freezing rain, well... he didn't comment on that too..

 

***************

 

"I told him to go away.."

 

Jaejoong didn't say anything.

He just keep on stroking Changmin's soft hair gently where the younger boy resting his head on Jaejoong's chest. Both of them crammed together on Jaejoong's narrow bed. Even with Changmin's larger taller frame, somehow they make it work.

 

"I was so tired and he was just so _happy_... I snapped."

 

The pit patter of the rain against the windowpane lulls them.

Jaejoong took a deep breath and still he keeps quiet.

 

"That's why he's gone now.. I..I wished for a world without him."  
Changmin curled tighter against Jaejoong.

 

Few minutes passed by and Jaejoong thought the younger man had fallen asleep when the smallest of whisper reached his ears:

 

"..I didn't mean it..."

 

Jaejoong keeps on stroking.

And outside, the rain pours....

 

**********************************************************************************************************

 

Changmin stayed with Jaejoong for a little more than couple of weeks - ignoring any and all calls from his manager, family members and God knows who else..

 

At the end of the third week, his manager somehow managed to track down the wayward singer, actually came begging at Changmin to come back  and tried to bargains with him that he could even bring his male lover (Jaejoong: Who, me??) with him as long as they keep it discreet and out of public eyes.

Angry, Changmin flat out told his manager that he wants to quit everything - very nearly gives the man a heart attack and Jaejoong was forced to interfere. He promised Changmin's manager that he will talk to the younger man but before he could calm Changmin down, the singer grabbed his jacket and cap and stormed out of the apartment.

 

The cool fresh evening air helps in clearing Changmin's mind and with every step he took, he could feel his blood pressure calm down a little bit more.

Further and further he walks with no specific destination in mind - just letting his feet taking him wherever they feel like going.

 

Next time he really takes notice of his surrounding he found himself in a run down neighbourhood and in front of him, across the street a vaguely familiar old building looms ahead - he would've thought it was abandoned but for few children running around and playing on its unkempt lawn.

As if in a trance, he drew closer to the building and towards the bright sound of children laughter and shrieks.

He stood by near the rustic gates for few minutes.. just watching and letting their happy voices soothe his frazzled mind.

 

"Children are amazing isn't it?"

 

Changmin whirled around at the sound of high-pitched wheezy voice and find himself looking at an old man next to him. So old that he stoop nearly in half with just a thin walking cane as support.

 

The old man nodded towards the playing children,  
"Look at them.. Forgotten and abandoned by the world and yet, still could find a reason to laugh and be merry.. Innocence of youth  truly priceless.."

 

"Abandoned?"

 

The old man glanced up to Changmin,  
"They're orphans.. Didn't you know that this is an orphanage?"  
He pointed to the faded sign hanging at the side of the gate.

 

_New Hope Orphanage_

 

Changmin realized why the building seems familiar when he first saw it:

Yunho brought him here once.

 

_"Hyung~ why are we spending our, very rare if I may add; day off here?"_

_"You were the one that insisted to follow me here, Min-ah~ I didn't force you to come.."_

_"Of course I was curious where did you go every time we're not working! Not like you want to tell me even when I ask.. Because we don't live together anymore, you think you're free from me, hyung? Haha.. guess again~!"_

_Yunho laughed,  
"You're weird, you know that? I thought you'll be the happiest when I'm not around you so much anymore.. Anyway, I spend half of my free time here. They wanted to close down the house because of state's budget-cut or something.. I can't let that happens. The children would be forced to separate and the next orphanage they'll be transferred to would be even more crammed than this one. I decided  to pledged myself to be their sponsor.. So~ theoretically I'm bringing you to see my kids.. All 37 of them~hehe.."_

_Changmin rolled his eyes,_   
_"So you finally got your wish of having 25 kids, huh? Jeez.."_   
_Then Yunho's words truly penetrated his mind,_   
_"Wait. You said this where you spend **HALF** of your free time.. What about the other half?"_

_Yunho laughed and stick out his tongue,  
"S-E-C-R-E-T~!"_

_"Yah~! Tell me!"_

_"Hush Min, here comes my babies.. Kids~ Appa here~.. I brought snacks and toys for you guys~"_

_"Appa-Yun~!!"_

 

Changmin smiled slightly as he remembers that afternoon.

He didn't admit it at the time.. But that was one of the best days off he ever had. Yunho seemed just like one of the kids as he played and laughed with them..

 

But the house that he remembers is nothing like this.

That house was cheery and bright and everything is so well-kept.. A suitable place for children to grow up happy.

Even the children looks slightly different. He remembers them as chubby and healthy and innocent little tykes.. But those in front of him now are thin and looks like they might missed few good meals before and while they're laughing and playing currently, their little faces already seems tired and worn with life.

 

".... a pity."

 

Changmin realised that the old man is still talking to him,  
"I'm sorry.. what?"

 

"I said, it's a pity that the kids will be forced to move. This place will be demolished soon.. Life is just too cruel sometimes.. Adult, children, young or old.. No one will be spared once Lady Fate made up her mind.."  
With a sigh, the old man walked away slowly - leaving Changmin standing alone.

 

The place that Yunho loves so much...

The kids that are his pride and joy..

Will be gone.

 

Because in this world, there is no Jung Yunho to save them.

Just like JiHye and her mother, there is no Jung Yunho to protect them.

Or with TVXQ, ending as soon as they started as there is no Jung Yunho to fight for them.

 

And himself - living from day to day aimlessly, only ever passionate about his work and not much else... never quite understand on how to connect to others aside from his music.

For all his wealth and success and fame, his life... his  _heart_ is empty.

As Changmin of this world doesn't have a Jung Yunho to love and be loved in return.

No Jung Yunho to coax him out of his shell and patiently teaching Changmin the importance of empathy, of being gentle.. of being kind..

 

He turned and began the long walk back to Jaejoong's place.

It's time to grow up.

He doesn't have a Yunho to care for him anymore.

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

  
The world may have forgotten.... don't even  _realised_ that they've lost an angel.

But Changmin knows.

And remembers..

And mourns..

And promised to himself that he will be the Changmin that will make Yunho proud.

..... Until they meet again, in another life

..in another world.

 

 

*******************************************************************************************************************

 

 

_**"Changmin-ah, Changmin-ah! Look, I haven't play this in years~!!" *blow bubbles*** _

 

 

When it's been found out that he bought the orphanage (despite him tried to be discreet as possible, someone leaked the news to the press), they mocked him.

 

It's a publicity stunt, the media said.

It's absurd! What does a  famous 'bad boy' celebrity wants with an orphanage?!, charity groups protest.

He's stressed with work and is reverting back to his childhood - like Michael Jackson, psychiatrists theorized.

He's going to build his own Korea-version of Playboy mansion and he's training them from young, paparazzis gossiped.

 

He ignored all of them and just focusing on arranging for the orphanage to be fixed properly and all the kids to be taken care of by certified social workers.

And when one of the reporters finally mustered up the courage to ask him the reason for his bizarre action,

he just smiled and said:  
"It's for Yunho"

and leave it at that - no matter how much other people wheedling him about it.

 

*****

 

**_"C'mon Minnie~ Don't be like that~ They will see that amazing funny crazy boy underneath all that prickly scary front and they'll love you just as much as hyung does..  Smile, Changdolla.. Oh look, there's SuJu new maknae: Kyuwoon or something. Come, lets say Hello. Who knows, you guys might become best friend~"_ **

 

He reached out and starts hanging out with other fellow artists..  
And taking that extra effort to be nice to trainees and giving them pointers and/or advice.

He searched for Kyuhyun and apologized for his rudeness the other day and asked if he would like to join Changmin for a game of pool or something to make up for it and maybe they could ask Minho from Shinee to join them as well as Changmin heard (knows) that the kid could play pool like a pro.

Suspicious on why would SM most popular artist wants to hang out with him but still curious, Kyuhyun accepted Changmin's invitation and somehow they even got Minho to come on board.

And surprised! (Not.)  
The three guys found themselves having a lot of things in common and actually enjoying each other company.  
And by the end of the evening, they already made plans to hang out again together next weekend.

 

"To Yunho.."

No one else understand or even know who this Yunho is but it was a good night and they are all too pleasantly buzzed to questioned Changmin's toast so they raised their glasses and cheered happily.

 

"To Yunho!"

 

*****

 

**_"Don't be angry Changmin-ah~.. I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this.. I wish we could resolve everything without hurting you. You’re our maknae.. Please know that we all love you no matter what. But dongseang-ah~ people change.. Sometimes what was our dream together then may not be the same now. Nobody wants to hurt anybody here.. Jaejoong, Junsu, Yoochunnie.. they’re all just trying to do what we’d all been doing all this while: Chasing their own dreams.. Don't hate them, Min.. Not when they love you so much..."_ **

 

Jaejoong took it upon himself to re-connect Changmin with their other two former group members: Junsu (now a football coach at a nearby high school) and Yoochun (a composer - and Changmin made a mental note to discuss a possible collaboration with him).

 

While at first the other two were quite apprehensive in meeting with the maknae again, Jaejoong must have threatened them or something as everybody turned up on time to the dinner at Jaejoong's place and everyone was on their best behavior and nobody ever brought up what a rude little shit Changmin once was.

 

All in all while it could have gone better, it's a step towards the right direction and plus, it's not like they have any choice in going back to ignoring the existence of one another as Jaejoong suggested (read:  _forced_ ) that they should meet up every other week.

 

Changmin wonders how would  _his_ Yunho feels if he knows that Changmin is not only speaking terms with their former teammates again but also on the way to feel like they're brothers again.

 

A mental image of the brightest grin enters his mind.

And Changmin smiles.

 

*****

 

_**"Isn't it wonderful, Changmin-ah?.. To receive so much love for doing what we love best, isn't it wonderful? Ah~.. Being on stage performing really is the reason I'm alive.. Of course, being with my Changminnie is when I feel loved the most~" *sweet smile*** _

__

TETSUKO'S ROOM - Christmas Special Edition [airing date: 26/12/20--]

**Tetsuko:**  Today here at Tetsuko Room we're very lucky to have one of the most famous.. and handsome too * _laugh_ * Asian artists of all times. Changmin-san, let me welcome and thank you for agreeing to come to my show.

 

**Changmin:**  No, no.. It's my pleasure, really.. Thank you for having me..

 

**Tetsuko:**  So Changmin-san, firstly let me tell you that you have no idea how many letters we received from fans all over Japan asking for us to invite you. Now, I just want to clarify something with our viewers that we heard your voice AND we worked really hard to get him on the show before. It was just that only recently you actually have the time to accept, right Changmin-san?

 

**Changmin:**  Ah yes.. I really am sorry for that. It's been~ quite hectic this past few months, what with the new album promotion and upcoming tours. I felt really bad though.. I know how many times you guys been in contact with SME. So this time I just told my manager that no matter what, I will be here.. Cancel everything else.

 

**Tetsuko:**  And we really thank you for that..  * _looks at the camera_ * See, we really do work hard for you~ so please stop flooding our office with curse letters.. * _looks back at Changmin in amusement_ * Your fans really love you, you know.. It's almost dangerous for us here..

 

**Changmin:**  * _laugh and look at the camera_ * Thank you for your love and please keep on loving me.. And be nice to Tetsuko-san too..

 

**Tetsuko:**  * _giggles_ * Wah~ To received protection from Changmin-san.. Ah, I feel like a pretty young girl again..

 

**Changmin:**  You're still very beautiful, really..

 

**Tetsuko:**  Oh no~ I'm blushing now.. Changmin-san, if you ever decided to stop singing.. Please come and work as talk show host with us.. You're very charming~

 

**Changmin:**  * _laugh_ * Okay, I'll keep that in mind..

 

**Tetsuko:**  Lets talk about your new album.. Um~ it's quite different from your usual genre, isn't it?

 

**Changmin:**  * _nodded_ * Yes. Before it was more of an edgy-rock, fast-paced kind of music. Here in new album.. Well.. It's not that I totally went into opposite direction but I thought it'll be interesting to venture into different style.. I think as an artist, it's important to be flexible and not just stick to one style. I also thought that maybe this way I could connect more with my fans by showing them different side of me. In other words, I took a risk and crossed my fingers that it'll be okay.

 

**Tetsuko:**  And it worked really well too.. I mean, you've always been famous across Asia especially in Korea and Japan but this album only been out for couple weeks and already we're looking at triple platinum award. That's quite an achievement.. And I understand that you wrote and composed a couple of songs in the album? And you even write the Japanese version of them, yes?

 

**Changmin:**  ' _A Person Like Tears_ ' and ' _I Swear_ ', yes..

 

**Tetsuko:**  Well I have to say Changmin-san that you are really talented.. The lyrics in  _A Person Like Tears_  especially.. Just~.. so heartbreaking. I listened to it and it just touched my heart so deeply. I can imagine the pain that you, well~ hopefully didn't go through for  **real**.. I mean '  _I miss you my love, can’t you turn around and look at me? I call out to you till my lips are chapped but it doesn’t reach you. Wherever you are, I will go search for you. Even when the day I stop breathing comes, I will wait for you._ _I want to love you again, my love, whom I miss crazily_ '.. Those are some really powerful words.. Tell me Changmin-san, does this song have some special meaning to you? Is there a certain someone this song dedicated to? I can't imagine writing something like this without being influenced by past experience.

 

**Changmin:**  * _fidgeting and took a deep breath_ *

 

**Tetsuko:**  Ah, wait.. Is this too sensitive question for you? I didn't mean to dredged up painful memories for you..

 

**Changmin:**  * _smiled wryly_ * No, no.. It's fine. I was just thinking on how best to answer the question.. Lets see.. Umm.. How do I say this? To put it very simply, when I wrote it I was thinking of unattainable love.. because the person that should be your one, didn't exist. How sad it is to wait and called out for that person that you can't even see or meet, can never hear his or her voice, would never touched or be touched by them.. It's worse than unrequited love.. Your heart being broken before it could even live...

 

**Tetsuko:** I... I actually am lost for words. You answered that so perfectly that I just didn't have anything to add to it.. Now my heart is sad as well when I think of the song~..

 

**Changmin:**  * _laugh_ * Oh, I take that as a compliment..

 

**Tetsuko:**  You should. I can't remember when the last time I'm speechless.. And ' _I Swear_ ' I heard that you wrote it for your fans?

 

**Changmin:**  * _nodded_ * Yes.. to all my fans who's been supporting me all this while, for loving me despite everything, for them who's been protecting me through my ups and down.. I want to say thank you.. I know I'm not the most..um.. affectionate of artists. But to keep on liking me, lending me their strength.. My fans, they're why I'm still here. They're my reason to live, so to speak.. I don't say it much but * _looks at camera and made a heart pose_ * Saranghae~!

 

**Tetsuko:**  Wow.. your fans really are lucky. You really love them..

 

**Changmin:**  * _laugh to cover his embarrassment_ *

 

**Tetsuko:**  Ah, you're too cute~ I feel like you're my own son.. Like I want to protect you as well.. Do you have any fans that feel like that?

 

**Changmin:**  Um.. Well~ I do have fans that are more on..um.. matured side. And they're really the sweetest.. They keep giving me traditional medicine and all sorts of health supplements..\

 

**Tetsuko:** Ah, they want you to be healthy.. Like mothers with their children..

 

**Changmin:**  Yes, something like that.. I could really feel their concerns over my well-being and their warm love.. So, I really appreciate it. I wish I could do more for them though. But all I can do is sing and perform and hopefully it would ease their worries even for a while..

 

**Tetsuko:**  Don't worry, that's the reason they love you..

 

**Changmin:**  Thank you..

 

**Tetsuko:**  Anyway, unfortunately we came to the end of our show.. Again, Changmin-san.. Really thank you for being here..

 

**Changmin:**  No, I really enjoyed myself.. Thank you.

 

**Tetsuko:**  Before we leave, can I ask you one last question? I'm pretty sure most been wondering about this as well and others probably had already asked you.. But, in your album.. in the ' _Thank You_ ' message, you mentioned a name:  _Yun_ as your inspiration and the missing half of your soul. Um~.. Well, curious minds want to know: Just who is this Yun person? Is it a he? Or she? Because our research turned up empty on the name.

 

**Changmin:**  Yun... is my muse. You could say ' _Yun_ ' is the melody to my song... That one person that I want to better myself for.. A dream, if you may..

 

**Tetsuko:**  Could it be this  _Yun_ is your mentioned unattainable love?

 

**Changmin:**  * _smiled wistfully_ * There are certain things one can't change no matter how they're sorry for it and they just have to live with the consequences.. That's all I can say on the matter..

 

**Tetsuko:**  Well I wish you all the happiness and luck in the world, Changmin-san.. You deserve it. Maybe you'll find your Yun someday..

 

 

**********************************************************************************************

 

 

It last day of the year and nearly 11 months since Changmin first woke up to this strange world.

Jaejoong has been running around non-stop all day long to finalize all the preparation and cooking up a storm for his New Year's Eve get together. Changmin tried to help but after unfortunate incident involving eggs, boiling water and a whole lot of apologizing to firemen who answered to the smoke alarm warning, Jaejoong had officially banned Changmin from entering the kitchen ever again.

 

Junsu and Yoochun arrived a little later after their own celebration with their own families (Changmin spent Christmas with his but decided to forgo awkward family dinner and spend the New Year with his friends instead) and after a huge supper (apparently Jaejoong in any universe would always be a good cook~) and while waiting for the ball to drop at midnight, Jaejoong took out the bottle of expensive scotch whisky that Changmin brought with him.

 

Junsu and Yoochun cheers at the sight and Jaejoong told Changmin to get the glasses from the kitchen cabinet.

When he came back, there are several bright coloured wrapped boxes on the table.

 

"Look Min! Jaejoong-hyung and Yoochun bought us gifts!"  
Junsu squealed - tearing excitedly into one of the boxes.

 

Changmin beginning to feel guilty as he didn't buy anything for anyone and just about to wonder if anyone would feel insulted if he gives them  cheque so they could buy whatever they want when Jaejoong tugged at the leg of his pants,  
"Sit down Min~ This year we hyungs want to spoil you and Junsu as a celebration of our renewed friendship.. But from next year onward~ you and Junsu have to buy all the presents. Deal?"

 

Changmin looks at Jaejoong smiling teasingly at him and know that the older man is telling him not to feel bad for not buying anything for them..  
Such simple gesture but it touched him nonetheless..

Ignoring Junsu screeching in protest, he whispered,  
"Deal."

 

Jaejoong ruffled his hair,  
"Good boy~.. Junsu, stop screeching like a parrot and pass Changmin his presents!"

 

Changmin looked down at three small boxes on his lap - ' _Three?_ ' He looked at Junsu who look away innocently and starts gushing loudly about the new soccer shoes he got from Yoochun.

 

Feeling like a kid again, he tears off the wrapping of one of the boxes.

Inside, a gold coin pendant attached to a black leather strip. Judging from the dull color and the weird pictures and signs engraved on the surface, Changmin could see that this is a very old coin.

 

"That is my lucky charm.."

 

Changmin turned to Jaejoong who is peering over his shoulder looking down at the pendant in his hand.

 

"My mom told me that it's a special coin and it would choose one person.. and only one, to grant his most inner wish."

 

"Then, it must be precious to you.. Why are you giving it to me?"

 

Jaejoong laughs and claps Changmin's back,  
"I had that for over 20 years, Min-ah~ I think if it's really a magical coin then it should work by now.. 'Sides, take it as a symbol of some sort. I want you to have it because it's my wish for you to have a good, healthy and happy life.."

 

"... Thank you, hyung.."  
Changmin slipped the necklace over his head and underneath his shirt - the coin lays heavy and warm against his bare skin.

 

"Wait, You gave Changmin a magic coin and me underwear?? Not fair, Jaejoong-hyung~"  
Junsu whined.

 

Jaejoong smacked the back of Junsu's head lightly,  
"I gave you 7 pairs of SILK underwear, Junsu! Do you have any idea how expensive they are, you ungrateful child~!"

 

"Ah~! The counting is starting now! Shut up you both.."  
Yoochun leaned closer to the TV screen where the dazzling lights of Times Square and bustling energy of millions of people there waiting for the New Year's Eve ball to drop are being broadcast.

 

"Don't forget to make a wish, guys~" - Jaejoong

"That's for  _birthday_ , hyung.." - Yoochun

"Ooohh~ I wish that Chelsea would win over M.U next year!" - Junsu

"You are not supposed to say your wish out loud, Su.. and dream on~ M.U is the best!" - Yoochun

 

Changmin leaned back against the couch and look at all three men sitting in front of him squabbling like kids. On the television, the New Year countdown drew near as over a billion watching throughout the world are united in bidding a collective farewell to the departing year.

 

5..

' _Has it really been nearly a year?_ ' he thought to himself.

 

4..

' _What would you think if you can see me now?_ '

 

3..

' _I tried.. but I still miss you so very much, hyung.._ '

 

2..

' _Dream or not.._ ' he closed his eyes and instinctively grabbed the pendant - breathing deeply.

 

1!!

' _I wish to see you again_ '

 

HAPPY NEW YE.....

 

 

******************************************************************************************

 

 

".....in-ah~.. Changmin-ah~.. Wake up.. Everyone's waiting for you~"

 

The familiar voice slowly penetrate his senses and drawing Changmin out of the warm light of his dream. Groaning slightly and refusing to open his eyes, he mumbled his protest at the disturbance to his sleep  
"No.. Jae-hyung.. 5 minutes more~"

 

The silence that came afterward convinced Changmin that Jaejoong probably had given up in trying to drag him out of bed. Happy that his protest actually worked, he turned over to the other side to continue on sleeping.

 

But then the voice started again -  _gentler_ this time.

"Changmin-ah... It's Yunho-hyung.. And you have to wake up now as we're all packed and ready to go back to the hotel already.. I promise you can go straight to sleep once we arrived, okay?"

 

 

Changmin opened his eyes and turned around so fast that he nearly gave himself a whiplash.

There, crouching beside the couch is the familiar small face looking so adorably confused as he always remembers.

 

He sat up slowly, eyes never leaving the other's face... mind unable to comprehend if this is a dream or reality.

 

"Changmin? Changmin-ah~.. Are you  _really_ awake or sleepwalking now~?"

Yunho beginning to get worried at the other's silence. He waved a hand in front of the maknae's unblinking stare.

"Yoo~hoo... Changminnie~... It's me, Yunho-hyung~.. Wake u..  _eh~_???"

 

Yunho blinked in confusion as the younger man slowly reached out a hand and traced Yunho's face gingerly - as if Yunho is a delicate porcelain doll that will shatter at the slightest touch..

 

From the top of his forehead

down the bridge of his nose.

A swipe of thumb across his eyebrows

gentle tracing of his bottom lips.

Up the outline of his jaw.

And finally cupping one of his cheek softly.

 

"Minnie? You okay?"  
He whispered lest he spooked the maknae.

 

"You.. you are  _real_ , right?.. Not another dream.. this.. this is not just my imagination, right?"

Before Yunho could replied, Changmin grabbed both of his upper arms harshly causing him to yelp a bit.

"Tell me! You are real, right?!  _Yunho!_  You are real, right?! Tell me! Yunho, tell m..!"

 

Yunho can't stand it anymore and drew up on his knees to pull the hysterical man into his arms. Changmin was shocked into silence and his entire body stiffened up.

 

But Yunho didn't let go.. just keep on hugging Changmin as tightly as possible - as if to protect him from whatever it was that put that desperate look in his precious maknae's eyes.

 

Little by little he could feel the tense body in his arms slowly began to loosened up until Changmin is hugging him back  _just_ as tightly - hiding his face against Yunho's shoulder.

 

"Calm down, Min~.. What's wrong? What makes you so sad?.. It's me.. It's  _Yunho_ , your idiot hyung.. I didn't go anywhere. All you have to do was opened your eyes and here I am.. as always. Okay, Min-ah?"

 

Swallowing hard against the huge lump in his throat, Changmin nodded slowly.

But still, he can't make himself letting go.

If this is really just a dream, then let him let go of the real world.

 

"Hyung, I just had the worst nightmare.."

 

Yunho didn't say anything. Just waits patiently..

 

"I can't find you.. I told you to go so you went away and I can't find you.. Everyone was there but not you.. I became a better person so you'll be proud of me.. And still you didn't come.."

 

Yunho sighed and looked to the ceiling.

He could understand why that kind of dream would upset Changmin. The thought of losing Changmin scares him too.. For all his talk of never giving up no matter what, of being strong and keep on striving for his dreams.. Well, none of it matters if Changmin not by his side. He knows he wouldn't survive.. Worse yet, he  _doesn't_ want to survive.

This codependency they have with each other probably unhealthy.

But just as sky is blue and grass is green,

it is what it is.

And that's that.

 

"Hey Min-ah.. I know I can't promise to be beside you forever.. But I  _promise_ that for as long as there's life within me, you'll never have to be scared of being alone.."

Yunho eased out of Changmin's arms gently and smoothed down the maknae's messy bang fondly. He keeps holding one of Changmin's hand in his,

"Now lets go back to the hotel, alright? The staff are all waiting for us outside already.. Get a good night sleep tonight as tomorrow we have an early flight.."

He stood up and tugged Changmin's hand playfully,

 

The younger man looked at their clasped hands and slowly up to Yunho's grinning face.

He finally stood up and gestured towards the door with a tilt of his head - squeezing the other's hand lightly, thankful that Yunho didn't pull away..  
The nightmare is still too fresh in his mind.

 

The walk along the dim corridor is quiet but comfortable.

 

Just then Yunho asked in innocent curiosity,

"Oh by the way Changmin-ah.. Is that a new necklace? I've never seen you wear that one before.."

 

Changmin looked down at his chest and feel the blood drain from his face.

There, glinting slightly in the dark is an old coin hanging from a black leather cord.

 

Jaejoong's lucky coin.

 

But.. but it was all just a dream..

_Wasn't_ it??

 

 

~ _finis_ ~

 

 

**A/N:**

**-**  OMG... I can't believe I actually finished this...I'm so emotionally drained, it's not even funny. It's really hard for me to think how and in which way Yunho changed the life of the people around him. Because this fic is about ' _what if he never existed?_ ' NOT ' _he lived but went away_ '. I know he influenced more people than what I wrote up there but~ if I were to write all of them then this fic will really NEVER get finished ;__;. Saying that, I know the ending sucks m(_._)m

**-**  The idea for the fic came from my thoughts on WHY Changmin seems to spoiled Yunho more and more lately~.. He's becoming more like a guy trying woo someone he likes... in a very (sometimes) gentlemanly manner. He doesn't mind being a dork in front of other hyungs/friends.. But with Yunho, don't you think Changmin acts a bit too cool and ' _know-it-all_ '? Like he wants Yunho to see/accept that he's not a little boy anymore. He's a man now.. of course, a brat will always be a brat.. And with Yunho adores the hell out of him, no wonder Changmin could get away with anything he wants~

**-**  Those up there, well... it was all based on what little I know of his past. For example, Yunho mentioned that his family went poor because of economic downturn before he went to Seoul, right? And I know that he's been doing charity here and there (volunteering at orphanage, giving scholarship..etc..)..

**\- NOTE:**  It's not that I think Jaejoong would be a bad leader.. But remember what SME said regarding on why Yunho is the leader instead of Jaejoong although he's the eldest?: Jaejoong tends to judge people based on first impression. If he didn't like them, then he  _won't_ like them and it's really hard to change his mind. Whereas Yunho loves everyone from the first time he meets them (yep, this sounds like our fluffy!Ho, alright~ ^^). And was it Yoochun (??) that said: Without Yunho, there will be no TVXQ. Basically, I just took everything and made up my own theory.. haha ^^;;

**-**  The song ' _A Person Like Tears_ ' was my inspiration for the fic. It's Changmin's solo and soundtrack of Jeon Woo Chi. he DIDN'T composed nor write the lyrics but for the sake of the fic~ I changed that fact... As for ' _I Swear_ ', you guys know that Changmin DID write the lyrics for that AND he said it was dedicated to fans (personally, I want to think he wrote it for Yunho.. as some of the lyrics suits their relationship the most XXDD)

**-**  ' _Tetsuko's Room_ ' is a Japanese talk show by Tetsuko Kuroyanagi.. Kinda like Japanese' Oprah (??). Anyway, it's really popular in Japan. I think she interviewed TVXQ once (when they were still 5)

\- Lastly, If you have ANY pity for me at all, please leave a comment for this fic as like I said, I really had a hard time writing it. Even a single sentence of ‘ _I hate this_ ’ or ‘ _You suck_ ’ would actually be greatly appreciated. You don’t even have to say anything nice.. I just want to know if people read this. They don't have to like it but because I went through a hard time writing it (there was a time I thought, ' _should I make it a sad ending.. maybe Changmin committed suicide~_ '), I really want people to read it.

**-**  Thank you :)

**-**  Personally, I don't want to live in the world without this angel (was the kind of mind frame I have when I'm writing this):

 

**-**  Sorry for any/all mistakes/suckiness/unbeta-d work..etc.. Not my best work but certainly one of my most treasured..

 

 


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